Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
