Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I want to walk on stilts...naked
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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