SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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