I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
So gin and wine won't be happening again
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
