# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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