So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
