Cold hands, warm shart.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize
