So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
