Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
