thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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