we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
