i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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