I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
