we made out on top of his cat.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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