would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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