Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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