how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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