I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
