I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize