He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
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Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
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Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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