is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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