hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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