D3 body, D1 cock
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
