There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
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Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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