I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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