Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
