What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
