so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
