You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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