vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
