It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Small penises have feelings too.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
