wrigley field is MILF paradise
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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