Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
