he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.