it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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