I murdered the dance floor call the cops
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Randomize
