OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
