the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
