guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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