All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize