I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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