God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
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Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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