Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
