im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
