I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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