My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
