that's an acceptable place to lick
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
