I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize