Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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