just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
