Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Do you still have your period?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
