I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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