Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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