Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize