a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
