he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
